Who Am I Writing For?

Some days I feel discouraged. After a particularly harsh critique, maybe. When my family and my day job drain the time and bandwidth I have for creativity. When I feel like three little kids stuffed into a trench coat, posing as an adult.

“Just write for yourself,” friends tell me. “Write for the joy of the process.”

I can’t do it.

Don’t get me wrong, I write because I’m compelled to, whether or not anyone ends up reading the product. But I wouldn’t call the process a joy. It’s more like a birthing. Excruciating, rending, at times seemingly fruitless. I read blog posts and books and attend workshops in order to do it right. “What To Expect When You’re Creating.” I cling to my partner’s hands and scream as the story takes shape. And when it’s done, I feel both exhilarated and emotionally drained.

I immediately want to take a million photos and shove them at anyone stupid enough to make eye contact.

“LOOK AT WHAT I’VE CREATED!” I shout.

They smile politely.

I am most certainly not writing only for myself. I used to feel bad about this. I worried that this compulsion to have an audience was yet another manifestation of a sick desire for external validation. Can’t you just write for the joy of writing, you insatiably insecure creature?

But what I’ve realized is that art is an interactive process. It’s a relationship, a give-and-take. The creator pours her emotions into a product. Someone else consumes it for the purpose of experiencing those emotions. I listen to songs, watch movies, buy paintings, read books because they give me experiences, ideas, feelings. How many musicians do you know who write an album’s worth of songs and never play them for anyone? I write because I want to tell stories that other people want to read.

Journaling is for oneself. Stories are meant to be shared.

On that note, I’m very pleased to announce that one of my stories on mental health and addiction will be published in an anthology by Quillkeeper’s Press, due out in May 2021. To have this story in the hands of an audience, about topics and inspired by people that mean a great deal to me, is a joy I can hardly put into words.

I thank you for being part of this relationship with me.

For another perspective on the symbiotic relationship between authors and readers, check out Maggie Stiefvater, author of The Wolves of Mercy Falls and The Raven Cycle, exploring the topic in this brilliant blog post: https://maggiestiefvater.com/on-author-reader-author-reader-responsibility/